Liturgy of Suddenly Discovering the Spring Equinox was Today

All: So what are we doing, on this heath....

Marston Moretaine: .... this blasted heath....

All: ...this blasted heath, at getting on for Midnight...

Marston: The Witching Hour! The Witching Hour!

All: Whatever.

Archdruid: We're celebrating the Equinox.

All: Isn't that tomorrow?

Archdruid: It turns out not. It's tonight. Or, today. Or was. It was this morning.

All: So Hnaef's Tightrope Walk over the Duckpond, celebrating the Equinoctial balance?

Archdruid: Nah, scrapped.

All: Gazing on the Midday, Midway Sun?

Archdruid: Too late. Forget it.

All: Celebrating the Sun's sojourn over the eternal equator?

Archdruid: Nah, not important. It's happened.

All: Celebrating the days getting longer, but more slowly?

Archdruid: Isn't that a bit like the rate of inflation slowing? That's too complicated for anyone.

Marston: But we're out here, on Aspley Heath. And it's dark. And there mght be a badger. (He begins to howl)

All: A BADGER? (All may start to cry, and run for the car park, tripping over log barriers and small nocturnal animals.  e.g. badgers)

Hymn: I hear the sound of rustling (and I'm worried it's a badger)