Thursday, 11 March 2010

A very long service interval for a Hadron Collider

The Conspiracy Theories will run amok over the latest announcement of a closure of the Large Hadron Collider - this time for a twelve months overhaul.

We've suggested a few below:
  • They've discovered that if they run it any faster, they'll actually make the God Delusion - a particle that's been around since the Dawk of time.
  • They should have gone for one of these new Japanese Large Hadron Colliders.  They go much further between services.  Albeit the brakes don't work.
  • The scientists have realised that if they close it down for 12 months, they can spend 12 months on the beach doing "research" into "global warming" and still get paid.  As Deep Thought put it, they're on the Gravy Train for life.
From the Independent Online :
"I wouldn't call it a design flaw. It is just that some of the copper stabilisers are not up to the quality needed to go to the full energy level," said Steve Myers, director of accelerators and technology at Cern.
Right.  That's like Mr Toyoda saying "I wouldn't call it a design flaw.  It's just that occasionally your car ends up in a lake".

1 comment :

  1. I'm going for a church excuse for doing nothing:-

    'To allow time for reflection and prayer'

    'to appoint a repairing commission to examine this issue more closely and make recommendations for future action' (if Methodist that means a watered down action in 5 years or never).

    'We have appointed a network of Repairing Development Awareness Workers (but aren't going to give them any tools or ask anyone to help them)'

    'Full guidance about repairing protocols is on our web site' (but no search term you can ever think of will ever find them).


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