Monday, 17 September 2012

Morning Liturgy in the Wooster Tradition


Song: Four-and-twenty Ginger-headed sailors

Archdruid: What ho, old beans!

All: Top hole, Eileen all girl!

Archdruid: Let me tell you the story about Minnie the Moocher.

All: She was a real live hoochie-coocher.

Archdruid: Does anyone know what that actually means?

Confession - each Beaker person turns to the chaps (or chapettes) nearest and says:

All: Oh, I'm most dreadfully sorry, old chap / old girl. No idea what came over me.

Response: Quite all right, old chap / girl. Could have happened to anyone.

Song: Pale Hands I loved Beside the Shalimar

A competition of Scriptural Knowledge (to be won by Young Keith, who frankly cheated.)

Exclamatiions of Delight in Creation: May include one or all of the following :

The stars are God's daisy chain
Gravel soil, Company's own water....
Every prospect pleases and only man is vile
It's a beautiful world, PK Purvis!

Closing Song: Sonny Boy.

Closing Song: Sonny Boy.

Closing Song: Sonny Boy.
Closing Song: Sonny Boy.

Oranges may be thrown.

Archdruid: Bung Ho!

All: Tinkerty-tonk!


  1. When I once visited Eton to deliver sandwiches, I found it just like that. What I found strange was that the very young, David Cameron was expected to serve them to the older boys and even unwrap and place them. When he managed to drop one, he had his ears firmly boxed by the older boy.

    This suggests that all is not well in the Bertie Wooster world of Old Etonians - which might explain our dysfunctional government. Public School boys beating each other up in private.

  2. What worries me is the possible effect on this rural idyll of the inadvertent reading of a passage from one of Vladimir Brusiloff's "grey studies of hopeless misery, where nothing happened till page three hundred and eighty, when the moujik decided to commit suicide." I fear an altogether more melancholy cast of mind may overwhelm the Beaker Folk, unrelieved, as it appears, by the prospect of amorous relations with Mrs. Smethurst's niece, Adeline,


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