A tweet that I shall not repeat (but only because it links to the article I shall now describe) declares the "death of journalism" by linking to an article on Katy Perry unfollowing Russell Brand on Twitter.
The circularity of that first sentence actually suggests the tweet is right. How did a 2nd-division singer unfollowing a 2nd-rate lothario on a social media site qualify to be a press article?
But I shall take hope from this. I have always fancied being a journalist, and it now turns out that repeating low-grade gossip from the Internet counts as journalism. So I am happy to provide you with this concise journalistic digest:
Paul Daniels cut off his own finger. It was reattached in a delicate operation by a team of surgeons, assisted by the lovely Debbie McGee.
The BBC has an article on "open marriage". Unusually for the BBC it doesn't provide an alternative view - which in this case would be almost anyone in the world saying what a bloody stupid idea it is.
On Facebook, someone is now friends with someone they were at school with, but don't really remember. This is only possible through the power of social media.
Several bloggers from Essex went to a diocesan conference. They had a good and challenging time, but since they're not celebrities and they're not on "The only way is Essex", it hasn't made the news. Nobody, as far as we're aware, had a fight or got arrested.
Joey Barton is old enough to know better.
A woman has been fined for reading from the Bible.
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