Not Celebrating St Patrick's Day

We've left St Patrick's day uncelebrated this year. No ceilidhs, no Kayleighs, no dancing without moving your arms, no Craic.  I feel the following list of reasons is good enough:

1. I'm not Irish. And neither is anyone else in the Community. Apart from Seamus. Oh yeah, and possibly Roisin and Michael O'Shaunessy. And the Fitzgerald triplets. I reckon they're Irish as well. But at any rate - I'm not. And I make the rules up.
2. If I'm giving up port for Lent, nobody else is enjoying themselves on Guinness. 
3. At the World Cup, in the days when England didn't qualify and the Republic of Ireland did, I didn't support Ireland. I supported Holland. I don't regard Ireland as England "B" team, and I think that shows more respect than doing so.
4. Green beer is an abomination.
5. I'm not Irish.
6. I can never remember whether shamrocks have 3 or 4 leaves, and worry that getting this horticultural fact wrong might lead to some serious theological problems.
7. Have you ever heard Morgwith playing the bodhran?
8. Have I mentioned I'm not Irish? If we celebrated the saint's days of every nation we'd never stop celebrating. Although, come to think of it...
9. Irish stereotypes get on my nerves. Although the Irish themselves, as a rule, don't. Or, at least, no more than anyone else. Again, I wouldn't like to patronise anyone by pretending I like the whole nation.  

So begorrah and good luck to yer on St Paddy's Day. I just won't be joining you. I'd wish you a lyrical, Celtic prayer of farewell. But let's not.