Thursday 31 March 2011

The end of the Imperfect Meeting

It's my own silly fault, of course.

Why did I ever agree to be the Chaplain to the Guild of Barrack Room Lawyers, Pedants and PCC Members?* Oh yeah. The money. But I tell you, it still wasn't worth it.

Fifteen hours in one meeting, the only item on the agenda being - which is the only Tube Station that does not contain any of the letters in the word "mackerel"?  Which some said was Hoxton, and others said Saint John's Wood. If you think about it, and maybe look at this Tube map, you can see why there were two sides to this argument. But I digress. And I'm falling into the trap they so cunningly set. I'm being drawn into their nightmare world.

Knowing it was a choice between violence and gnawing my own legs off, I told them that if they didn't finish the meeting I was going to hurt someone. To which they responded that my suggestion would have to wait until Any Other Business - and even then only if I had notified it to the Secretary in writing (not email or a phone message) 49 hours before the official commencement of the meeting.

After I had shown a little more - ahem - impatience they finally agreed to end the meeting. But even then, not until they had voted on the extraordinary motion "That this meeting runs away from the scary woman with the cricket bat". The voting being For: 16; Against: 2; Abstentions: 6; Don't believe you're really allowed to put this motion: 12. The motion was carried before anyone else got hurt.

* Or, as it was formerly called until the arguments broke out, the Barrack Room Lawyers', Pedant's and PCC Members Guild. There was only one pedant, so that didn't cause any arguments.

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