Rumours of Rumours of Wars

I popped over on Sunday, as is my wont, to Eileen's "Great House" for Sunday Lunch. Eileen is always very kind to Marjorie and me, and provides a spread as good as she does for her own Beaker Folk. Which is to say, "frugal" - especially when she is "celebrating" Lent. And frugal is as good as a feast for Marjorie and me, although she does insist on occasionally - no more than three or four times a week - going to the Nando's in Milton Keynes with her bridge-playing chums.

But Burton Dasset on this occasion was much put out - firstly because of his conviction that he had accidentally been "taken up" to join the Ordinariate while meeting Lady Mary of Walsingham, but mostly because of the Biscuitnapper's reference to two-thirds of US evangelicals believing that an increased number of disasters is a sign of the end. How could they be so statistically naive, asked Burton? On any analysis one can see that the number of natural disasters is about steady over history - albeit their effects may increase with increased population.

But I was able to comfort Burton, pointing out that Chapter 24 of Matthew refers not just to disasters - or solely to wars - but also to rumours of wars. And if we include with rumours of war, theories about the end times and rumours of potential disasters then we see that we are heading rapidly into the End Times. For, thanks to the power of the Internet, the number of rumours of wars, disasters and the End times is increasing rapidly. Indeed, as more gullible people with computers are connected to more and more gullible people with computers, the number of end-time prophecies will increase exponentially - making it more and more certain that the End will come soon.

I left Burton confused but, I like to think, frightened. Burton is naive, gullible, clever and - as an accountant - quite well off. I like to think he would make the perfect Fundamentalist.