Advent kicks in

That's it. After this morning's "eureka" moment, when I suddenly realised that the constant search for shallow consolation can never bring true joy, I've been pondering all day. And I realised that we really need to have a proper Advent season for Yule to make sense. You could call that a kind of epiphany, but that would only be confusing the calendar even further.

Anyway, the result is that I've decided that the season of Greater Bling, wherein we tried to illuminate every square inch of the Great House and grounds, is hereby suspended. I have removed the electrical supplies from all LED icicles, dancing penguins, juggling Father Christmases, flashing hedge decorations and animated glowing Simon Cowells. The tree is back in the cupboard, the crackers and in the drawers,the Xmas dinner is suspended until 25 December and reduced from daily for six weeks to the twelve days of Christmas.

Now you can all light one - one, notice - regulation-size, unscented tea light and contemplate the Things that are to come. Whatever they may be. We need a bit of seriousness round here.

This edict will continue until Christmas Eve, or I change my mind again.

In other news, the Community Wombles won't be playing a section of hits from the 1970s on Boxing Day as previously advertised. It turns out they're incapable of actually playing the guitars and saxaphone. Tobermory tells me that in fact they were just miming on Top of the Pops all those years ago. I'm shocked and saddened - a childhood illusion shattered.