Tuesday, 21 December 2010

Moved sideways to where he started from

Oh dear, it would appear that Hnaef's adventures on Saturday night were more disturbing than we originally thought.

A recording has come into my hands, courtesy of the Husborne Crawley Free Advertiser ("All the Husborne News" - circulation 6). It turns out that on Saturday night, under the influence of Waggle Dance and in the belief that he was going to be Archdruid of Bingley, Hnaef informed their reporter that "I've declared war on the Archdruid. She doesn't preeshate me. I'm so important I can bring down the Moot House."

What to do? Obviously in ordinary circumstances I would immediately sack Hnaef - an ironic action, since for reasons we still don't understand he seems to have been dressed as Santa Claus and "the sack" was what he started with. But the Beaker Folk of Husborne Crawley are a delicate coalition of freaks, losers, wannabe-mystics and power-crazed money-grabbers. To sack a representative of the former groups could destabilise the Moot House, and cause all the freaks and mystics to leave. And I want the money and power.  On the other hand, I can't allow Hnaef to continue to run the politically-sensitive Newspaper-Purchasing Committee. We all know how fraught newspaper purchasing can be in a community such as this.

I have decided to take firm action. Hnaef can keep his job, but from now on Marston will go out and buy the paper. I'm not trusting it to Daphne. Anyone who thinks Liza Minelli can hold a candle to Kirsty can't be given the important job of whether to buy the Telegraph or the Telegraph.

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