Monday, 20 December 2010

Lunar Eclipse Total Gibbon Melt-down

Much stress among the Moon Gibbon people as they prepare for tomorrow morning's lunar eclipse. And it's not like I've not worked hard here. I've been telling them all about it for weeks.

It's a really odd thing. I've told them it's all a matter of physics and numbers. Very rational. I've drawn them diagrams of the moon and the earth and the sun, and how they all relate. I've explained all about the plane of the ecliptic. I've told them how light is refracted. I've explained how red light scatters a little and blue a lot, so only the red light gets to the moon.

And do you know what? They hear the words "red" and "moon", they decide that this is because it is going to run with the blood of 1,000 clangers, and they run around screaming.

So I wait till they calm down. It normally takes about three days. And then I say to them, listen. This isn't a matter of mythology - it's science. The maths is proven. This is why we can calculate it in advance. It's not a shock when it happens. It's not turning to blood. I can tell you, through my calculations, that it's going to be tomorrow morning.  And then they call me a prophet. But even if they think I'm a prophet they won't really listen to me. And then they start running around screaming again.

They're out in the doily shed at the moment, building themselves a fallout shelter while wearing hard hats and knee pads. They say if the great Lunar War breaks out, and the Moon Gibbon starts throwing dead clangers about the place, it's best to make sure you're well protected.

1 comment :

  1. I like moon gibbons, normally, but they are awfully high-strung and seem to panic at the drop of a hat.


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