Saturday 4 December 2010

Pride and Fall

The so-called Archdruid is not inconsiderably over-excited after the discovery on Clayboy's blog that the forthcoming Wikio "Religion" ratings puts the Beaker Folk of Husborne Crawley at number 17, up from 21 last month.

I have tried to explain to her that this puts her 17th in the list of religious blogs in the UK that can be bothered to register themselves with a little-known and quirky rating system. I pointed out to her that proper bloggers like Cranmer aren't even on that list, as the late Archbishop is classed as a Political blog, and the competition is much greater. I directed her to the Scripture that tells us that all flesh is as grass. I informed her that her future position in Heaven (or the other place, as I think is more likely) will not depend on her rating on Wikio or blogtopsites.  Especially blogtopsites.  And I insinuated that her meagre ratings prove she is nowhere near the popularity and blog influence of the Church Mouse, whose whiskers she is not fit to clean.  I recounted to her how, when invited to put my own modest offering forward for "blog of the year", I saw the pitfalls of pride before me and refused.

Then I pointed out that she actually rates below Phil Ritchie, who is a Manchester United fan. Which I think was what did it, as she shoved me down the coal hatch again. But as I fell I rejoiced that as they treated Jeremiah the prophet, so they treated me. And then as I hit the coal, I reflected that at least Jeremiah had a soft landing.

Eileen now has the whole membership of the Beaker Community setting up blogs, with the instructions that they all have to post an update every half hour, linking to the Beaker Folk blog. I'm sure it's unethical. It's also impractical. The Hnaefs are the only two Beaker People who have the technical ability to set up a blog in the first place. But Hnaef is so obsessed with the dangers of Internet security that Google cannot even see his blog behind its firewall. While Burton, who is seriously behind the times, insists on writing the URL on sheets of paper and sticking them up around the village.

Brothers (and Sisters, suitably guided by a husband, father or suitably chaperoned church leader or other male relative). This is what happens when we swap an imperishable crown for a halo of electronic glory. They have exchanged the Word of God for the praise of men. They have forgotten that blogs will fall to dust, that as Babylon fell and Assyria is no more, so Guido Fawkes will one day be no longer. They should remember the example of Ruth Gledhill, trapped behind her paywall forever like some Dr Whovian victim with no-one to visit.

Although I have written this salutary exhortation, I have made one concession to the Arch-heretic Eileen. I did agree that, in keeping with what she called "Holgerian Principles", I have hyper-linked to all the sites that are listed here. I have no idea why she thought this was important.  But I am a kind-hearted person. I see no reason why, in offering her this advice, I should not still consider her feelings.


  1. Thanks for the mention and the link, I think;-)

  2. Sadly, the Archdruid has not really understood Holgerian principles - not Holgerian in their ARU incarnation, anyhow: the archdruid's 'references' do not accord with ARU guidelines. The shame, oh, the shame...

    At least there was no electronic staple attached to it. Small mercies.

    On a lighter note: how many readers of this blog will understand what the archdruid means by Holgerian principles?


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